When I was a n00b, it seemed that Nev was so wonderful,
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical.
And all the WoBs and the Kiz's, well they’d be warring so happily,
So joyfully, oh playfully, kill HoC.
But then Randy came on and said this is not sensible,
Logical, too reliable, practical.
Then he crafted a world where lag could be so dependable
A pinnacle, so ineffectual, maniacal

There are times when Nev is up shit creek,
Our hatred runs so deep
For this vindictive man.
Won't you please, please give up what you've planned
To us it sounds absurd
We'll quit, is that your plan?

You'd better watch what you say or he'll be nuking your empire,
Your house on fire, he'll wait 'til you expire
Then he'll sign in his name on your insurance policy
Back date it all, so it's signed nineteen-eighty-four

(bridge)

At night, when lag has killed your mechs,
Updates have you perplexed
You'll find your credit card.
Won't you please, please get out while you can
Or you will find your DP buys
His brand new minivan
Minivan.
Minivan!
 

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