Before I met mattbuck I had never heard of Neveron, had no idea what a mech was and couldn’t care less about the BV of a stone rhino (okay so that last one is still true). I’ve learnt a lot over the past 6 months, I now have some clue of what the hell is going on some of the time. Looking at this site there is plenty of help for new Nev players, but what of the women (or men) behind the players? We were uncatered for. So I have decided to write this basic girlfriend’s guide to Nev.

Firstly Nev is confusing, really confusing. Well to noobs like me anyway, I’m sure it makes perfect sense to the more experienced. But basically in Nev you have to build up population, money, cities etc. And then kill shit. To me it seems like the main point of this game is to kill shit. This may go some of the way to explaining why the male : female player ratio is roughly ∞ : 2.

Another important thing to remember is that Nev is NOT just a game. Sure it looks like one and smells like one but do not be fooled. Nev is serious stuff. I’m sure it has reduced grown men to twitching wrecks. Maybe there is an asylum somewhere, I’ll have to look into it.

Most players seem to have a love-hate relationship with the game. They love complaining about the it - the bugs, the cheating, the new rules, how it sucks away at your soul - but they still go back to it every night like some childhood blanket. Go figure. One of the main bits of fun seems to be poking fun at the admins, generally Randy’s inability to code and Seth’s inability to do, well, anything.

Another important point - Nev is addictive, so if you say “It’s me or Nev” then you may well find yourself a boyfriend down. However the constant Nev playing does have its benefits, the risk of cheating being minimal, I mean between having a girlfriend and playing Nev there really isn’t any time for a little bit on the side. Let’s see the silver lining to what some find a large cloud.

When talking to other players about Nev it seems that strings of abbreviations, acronyms and other nonsensical gibberish takes the place of actual words.
For example, STR-WIE-1 - Armour (Internals): [H] 10 (6) [CT] 46/15 (31) [LT/RT] 32/10 (21) [LA/RA] 34 (17) [LL/RL] 42 (21).
I mean wtf?!
Basically they have to learn a completely new language. And of course this mumbo jumbo doesn’t make the game any less incomprehensible, I just trust them when they say it makes sense.

On the subject of the language of Nev, if your partner starts talking about gangbangs and ass-raping do not immediately assume that he is some sort of sexual deviant (I mean he may be but let’s not go there) and run away screaming. No, in Nev these phrases relate to the gameplay, or the shit killing I detailed earlier. It’s pretty sexual for a game where the main visuals are a load of hexagons.

Generally the players are in factions, gangs basically, of the sort you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alleyway. Your faction can war another faction and apparently great fun ensues. Many players get rather attached to their faction (bless) and their faction mates. It is thus vitally important to know which faction your partner is in so you can cheer or boo accordingly.

There you go, a bit of the Nev basics so it looks like you’ve been listening to talks of ceasefires and faction wars. My thinking is learn to tolerate Neveron even if you cannot encourage it, I mean if it makes ‘em happy...
And remember it could be worse, they could be a ginger bearded druid in World of Warcraft every night.
 

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