James,

Have you ever lied to someone and then taken advantage of them? No, I guess you wouldn’t have. You’re a decent guy. Well, guess what - I did. In retrospect, it was pretty dumb. I’m not proud of it – the guy I did it to… well, I never told him. So… this is my confession.

It was September, almost a year ago now. Time flies, tempus fugit, all those clichés. We’d just hit the charts with That Girl¸ and you’d come over to help us celebrate. Pizza and vodka. You probably don’t remember – you were pretty pissed by the time Matt changed the CD. So was I for that matter, but… not so much I guess. Or maybe you remember, I don’t know. Either way I hated it. It was possibly the worst live album I’d ever heard. Maybe it’s unfair to try and compare it to Queen at Wembley, but with Queen you could actually tell what song they were singing. And they sung well.

I don’t know where the others went, but we were alone there in the lounge, sitting next to each other. You wrapped your arm around me, slurring,

“A Tishkut for Evyshun.”

Your breath stank of booze, but I saw the chance I’d been waiting for. Did you know how much I’d watched your arse? No, you wouldn’t. I know that telling you now doesn’t make what I did right, but… I’m fucking sorry, alright? This is harder than I thought it would be. I’ve confessed things before, but never anything like this. It was the worst mistake of my life. What I did… What I did…

I started rubbing the crotch of your jeans, all the while whispering lies. How much I loved your album, how it was so much better than studio versions. Maybe I slipped in a truth or two – you are gorgeous, and anyone would be lucky to get you. You went into a state of bliss – there was no resistance when our lips met, you probably never noticed when I pulled down your pants and bent you over the table…

James… I can’t live with the secret any longer. I guess it says something about me that even when I confess, it’s for selfish reasons. I should never… I shouldn’t have.

What happens from here is up to you. I won’t deny it. Just…

I’m sorry.